Recently I was talking to mom's doctor about the surprise changes that came about last month. At the beginning of October she had a seizure and resulting set back, having us all think that her time to go had possibly come. The doctor put her on palliative care for about a week, with the care aides monitoring her closely for any positive changes. The changes came and they slowly were able to feed her again and get her up. Caring is what they do.
In the meantime, I feel so sorry for mom having to sit there day after day with no knowledge of what is going on. Her doctor said to me that obviously there is a reason for God still keeping her here. She noted that the staff sees our visits, our care for her and what we can bring into the equation is something we possibly do not realize. I wish so.
When I sit down to feed mom I will often quietly say a familiar German table grace with her. One that I know she knows but cannot say anymore. This will usually bring a smile of recognition from her. We do what we can to bring back a memory and to do what we know she would do. One resident, sitting across the table, said to me, "Can you do that to me too?" I asked her what she meant and she said something like, "tell me what you said to her." I told her that it was a prayer of thanks for the food.
Slowly I am realizing that mealtimes are a good time to interact with residents and care givers. Some of them still can carry a conversation while others just show a nostalgic kind of recognition at the mother / daughter bond. I laugh with the care aides about the antics going on, also noticing how patient they are. How can I make a difference? And then I realize how my mom is doing just that, a witness of the peace she has even in her silence. While other residents complain, don't eat, look miserable, play with their food and shout, she quietly eats every bite given to her. She goes through this hardship with such grace ... It's as though even unconsciously she lives and breathes the faith that has sustained her through life. It's amazing, humbling and something for me to grasp. God has a reason.
