A Surprise Bonus Day!

Although Chris and Julene have said goodbye to us, they are still in Canada, enjoying some time with his family. This past weekend, however, Julene was flown out for a day by a kind uncle to attend the wedding of a lifetime friend of hers. We knew this was in the plan but what we did not know was that Tehya would be coming along. What happened is that when she found out about her mom’s plans for the day, she asked to come too. “I’ve always wanted to go to an English wedding!” was her reason.

So, in the early afternoon while Mom was off for a rehearsal, Tehya and I played Barbies. One of the Barbies was wearing pantyhose. “What are those?” she wanted to know. Definitely not something she had ever seen anyone wear on the Equator, is my guess.
Before long, it was time to get ready for the wedding. It was quite fun to have such a cooperation coming from someone who was so excited to go and wanted to do everything right! She got herself dressed in her brown little tights and pink dress. I curled her hair and helped her with her new earrings. She put on some lip gloss while I put on my little black (and white) dress, teased my hair a bit, powdered my face and put on some lipstick. Papa also got himself looking quite dashingly handsome and off we were.

The ceremony was beautiful in a new way to me, as I saw it from the perspective of someone really surveying the proceedings for the first time. Her eyes sparkled as she watched the candlelighters and noted that they were lighting the candles on each side of the aisle at the same time. She smiled at the pretty bridesmaids, and then the flower girls scattering petals . . . I found myself mostly watching her not miss a thing, as she knelt on the bench, got on my lap for height and then stood at the end of the pew aisle, where we sat. When the bride walked in and everyone stood, I also got caught up in the moment as tears filled my eyes. It was a precious moment to be a part of.

After the ceremony Tehya came home with us and we had our own little dinner on the patio. This too, was quite special as she felt she had our sole attention, listening to her stories. At one point, as she was talking about toads, Papa, not sure he had heard her correctly, asked her, “Did you say you kissed a toad?” She casually answered, “Yes, but not for long!” In disbelief I exclaimed, “You kissed a frog?” And she answered, “A toad, Grammy, not a frog!”

When dinner was over, we went for a walk to the park. She noted one after another of the weeping birch trees growing in front yards along the street and finally asked, “Do those trees do well in this area?” I had to smile at the way she asked and things began to come together for me. We have grandchildren growing up and living in another country. This is not their home. Even I am beginning to refer to Indonesia as their home . . . after all, it’s been almost 5 years.

But, just for the record, this still brings tears to my eyes.

We ended our “day date” with her cuddled in between us watching a movie we had not seen I a long time and then tucked her into bed with a prayer and a story . . . our toad kissing princess . . . embedding another wonderful day in our hearts.

The Fruit of the Spirit: Self Control

This final study on the Fruit of the Spirit has me feeling overwhelmed at all there is to learn about self-control and just how applicable it is to my life. With Beth’s workbook, my notes, and God’s help I will make the effort to do this topic justice in a short form.

The importance of self control or discipline in my life has never been so clearly defined to me. Proverbs 25:28 says, “Like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who lacks self-control.” What this verse is saying is that a person who lacks self-control has no protective boundaries. People in ancient times knew the importance of a wall for protecting their city and just what could happen when part of it crumbled. Even so in our lives, the enemy sees that broken wall, an out of control area in our lives, and it looks to him like an open invitation to play havoc. The author of this study writes, “Your wounds are guilt, shame, frustration, and failure; his goal is to hold you captive for as long as possible.”

Samson and Daniel are two men who exemplify the result of one who had no self-control and one who did. Although Samson had been dedicated to God as a baby, he showed no regard for things that were holy, things he was to abstain from. He had a bad sense of humor and although he had great strength, he had a weakness for women. In the end, his self-indulgence robbed him of his sensitivity to the Holy Spirit and sapped him of his strength. Daniel, on the other hand, spent his time alone in prayer and resolved to abstain from the king’s food that was offered to him. In the end he gained both physical and spiritual strength. It is noteworthy to site that physical discipline and spiritual discipline often go hand in hand.

A couple of the areas of life that we touched on regarding self-control were: our possessions and what we allow to enter our mind or mouth. In regard to possessions Solomon, a very wealthy and wise man, acknowledged that “everything is meaningless . . . a chasing after the wind.” Even though the enemy would like nothing better than to have us believe that acquiring more possession will make us happier, I want to remember to hang loosely to things. 1 Corinthians 6:12 states that, “Everything is permissive for me but not everything is beneficial. Everything is permissive for me, but I will not be mastered by anything.” I think that this verse pretty well sums up what self-control is all about. Putting a rein on what we allow to fill our mind will prevent the stealing of valuable time and protect us from becoming desensitized. Anything, even food, can become an issue if it masters me and become a broken wall that the enemy will surely spot. Self control produced by the Spirit is there to bless us.

If you have enjoyed these glimpses of the Fruit of the Spirit over the last 10 weeks, I would invite you to join a women’s Bible Study by Beth Moore. This one is called Living Beyond yourself.

Family

It would be interesting to know what this one word brings to mind. Sitting here right now at my computer, I think about roots and where we come from. We talk about a family tree. A tree has branches and I think about our family branching out. There is family that has been grafted in, so to say, and become part of that tree.
We had a discussion one morning, part of which had to do with different ways that we are raised. It was a hard topic to address, but in the end it was so good. Communication happens when one person understands another. When we understand where we are coming from and where we are going, we are better able to help each other get there.
In a family it is so important to communicate. Family is fragile and we need to handle it with care. I have witnessed how in one family a quick judgment was made, words were spoken and not understood, leading to a broken relationship where one side or the other is allowing it to fester. This kind of thing makes me sad, when I know that we really all want the same thing. Who does not want a good family relationship?
How can we get past our own hurts and try to understand the other side? When we do this, healing begins. Talking and listening is important to understand each other. When forgiveness happens, relationships grow and become better because of the hurdle we’ve jumped together. I really believe that we can become stronger through difficulties that are handled correctly. We can become better, rather than bitter.
So, why these serious thoughts today? I am posting a photo of a table setting in our backyard. A formal dinner we had with just our grown kids . . . china, candles, good food, dessert and ending off with a guitar and several of the couples singing some of their favorite songs as the stars came out.
Now this may sound too perfect . . . it was . . . it was my favorite evening. I could have posted only that and maybe a picture of them all – dressed up, but it would have given you the wrong impression. So I decided to be honest and tell you that this evening only happened to be so perfect because of a difficult conversation we had earlier. Hopefully our family has grown in more than one way.

family: a treasured possession

Were They Really Here?

I keep going back to the pictures. There are moments that tell a story because I caught them and moments that were captured by someone else - which I only saw once they were on my computer. So much has happened in two weeks, it is really hard to know where to begin. I wonder . . . do families who live in close proximity to each other do this much in a year? Do they take pictures? Or do they think that they will take the picture next time . . . because next time isn’t a year away?

It was a busy time. Sometimes it felt like I didn’t have time to think. I realized this after everyone left, as I was vacuuming - since that is when I tend to think. As I was striping beds I came across a story book lying on the nightstand where I last tucked a little girl into bed. I smiled to myself, seeing the title.

Yes, there’s evidence all over the house . . . a felt pen here, a carefully drawn picture there. Old toys resurrected . . . I will never again look at the old Fisher Price binoculars in the same way. It seems like they were always dangling from one or the other’s neck, sometimes with a little voice exclaiming, “I see something!” French doors and stainless steel appliances are not kid friendly . . . Should I really wipe off all the fingerprints? I open a closet door in our bedroom retreat and find a little parking lot set up by a boy who was smart to hide these little things from the babies. It’s still there.

I remember cute things spoken by a three-year-old . . . such as, “Mommy, Tehya is not my cousin any more, she’s my best friend!” Oh, and how attentively she listened to her older cousin (as they are eating sandwiches) tell of a character in a story who said, “If I eat one more cheese sandwich, I will turn into a mouse.” I didn’t realize she “got it” until their lunch was done and with twinkling eyes she countered with, “And you didn’t turn into a mouse!”
On another occasion three kids were chatting in the backseat, talking about Michael Jackson of all people! One mentioned that Michael Jackson is dead, but Michael W. Smith is not dead! The conversation ended up with something like, “I know he’s not dead, because I heard him on Grammy’s blog.” I think Papa almost drove off the road at that point.

My heart is full of precious memories as I’ve watched relationships grow within our family. Relationships between cousins, in-law brothers, sisters who live in opposite cultures, a new sister-in-law with a baby on the way . . . in some ways we are still a family getting to know each other and obviously there are some growing pains involved, but today I count my blessings – all thirteen of them. Each individually created and a part of our family – truly a gift by the grace of God.

One of My Wishes . . .

Ahh ... got it!

The Fruit of the Spirit - Gentleness

How does gentleness fit into a world where we are consumed with the fear that if we do not voice or fight for our rights we will lose out? Beth Moore states that, “Only a gentle giant can stand before Pilate with no need to defend Himself.” With this thought in mind, dare one safely say that gentleness is a sign of strength we don’t see much of today? This makes me see more clearly why I need the Holy Spirit to produce this kind of strength.

Beth's Study led us to see that gentleness is a combination of submission, humility, teachability and teaching ability:

A submission to the will of God - one that may even be tested to the point of accepting suffering in His will to be better than ease outside of His will. The apostle Paul suffered beatings, imprisonment, hunger, stoning, shipwreck etc and counted it all as “Nothing, compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ.” (Philippians 3)

A humility that comes from realizing my unworthiness compared to God’s grace and greatness. This humility will show itself in gentleness toward others. Humility will be considerate of needs and be willing to serve, rather than be served. Jesus took a pitcher and a towel to teach his disciples about gentle humility.

A teachability that requires admission of a need and acceptance of instruction. Someone who is teachable will not feel insulted when told how to do something. The teachability of gentleness shows itself when we are willing to check the manual rather than insisting that we know. Even David, the king, had to learn this when his first attempt of returning the ark of the Lord was condemned (1 Chronicles 13, 15). He learned to accept tragedy and failure as a challenge to inquire of the Lord before going ahead.

A teaching ability that is not concerned about a personal agenda, but rests in the fact that truth will win. It is about integrity, soundness of speech and living by example. Proverbs 16:21 says. “Pleasant words promote instruction.”

Gentleness is not a sign of weakness. It takes great strength to rest in God, to humble ourselves, to be teachable and to teach truth with integrity. Gentleness is a giant fruit.