Peppernuts

This girl ... she's not been with us for Christmas since 2013

when she was five.

So when this photo came to my phone 

I knew she was thinking about this past summer

 when they were back in Canada with us.

 One warm night after dinner I decided it was as good a time as any

and showed her how we roll and cut Peppernut cookies.

Then we baked them for our Christmas in July.

I guess they made an impression on more than one grand,

 because on this random day when I got these photos,

her mom told me she had done these all on her own.

How can it be that in these small ways,

God continues to care for the little things I thought we'd miss out on -

that even though she lives on the other side of the world,

and rarely participates in our traditions

she pulled out the cookbook and made a new memory.

Knowing that our special summer moments stayed in her heart

is a gift I'm cherishing these days.

Another way to see God's grace.

Love Passed On

Something I love about having my photos and slides scanned

is that I can usually find a photo pretty fast.

This one takes me back to 1984 -

a moment lost in time - but one that 

shows the tender love of an older sister.

A sister that can smother her little brother with love

as much as she can be his boss -

very much like the one that was texted to me last week.

It's not always I look at Jack and see Ben -

I see my sweet grandson, Jack, who has endeared me to him

on his own merits -

however, when I saw this photo I went back in time

and maybe you can imagine how moments like that can feel.

He's quite a bit older here,

but his little face I get to see again

in the face of his son.

And that just makes me smile.

About Being in the Fall Season

Ten years ago, when I began to blog, I declared myself in the fall season of life,

filled with the colors of the changes that had transpired in my life.

At the time we were recent empty nesters .

Two of our daughters had moved out of country and 

we had one newly married couple near by.

To see our five young grandchildren involved a lot of travel.

When the announcement came that our youngest was going to be a dad,

he commented that maybe they should name this one "Local"

because everyone was saying to him that 

we must be so happy to have a local grandchild.

The year after Lacey was born, our American family moved to be near to us!

It was an unexpected dream come true.

To make things interesting, our original locals moved to Saskatoon for three years.

But they came back to visit often.

There was great joy, also when our Indonesia family came home

and stayed for a few years, even though it was hard to
let them go again.

I know that ten years ago and even earlier, 

I struggled some to embrace this new season. 

Some things did not look the way I'd have chosen.

But looking back now, I see how God has worked for my growth

and given me opportunities I could have missed.

He gave me the desires of my heart in ways 

I could not have dreamt.

A gift for such a time as this and beyond.

This season,

sandwiched between summer and winter,
 has taken me through the contrast of losing my mom-in-law

at the same time as giving my mom away in marriage.
It has been a time of welcoming more babies.
A time of improving our home space.
A time of taking my cooking and baking skills to new levels
and sharing it in many ways that challenged me,
yet gave me confidence in a gift to be used.

It has allowed me to see life through the eyes of children

as well as through the eyes of a mom's failing memory,

especially so because of my desire to write.

It has given me reason to appreciate the moments.

The beauty of autumn continues to 

inspire me even as I see it waning and preparing me for the next.

But for now, I will be thankful for every leaf 

that still flutters to the ground to nourish it

 unto new life to come.

I Will Carry You

On this visit, as is normal now, nothing she said made sense. She used words but they did not have meaning. I leaned in close, but had to pretend I understood. So I decided to read a verse that a friend shared with me recently ... from Isaiah 46:4

...  and she said, "That is beautiful!" I read it again and she said, "I like that!"

It's a mystery to me how God's Word has the power to open her mind ... but I will take it and be comforted to know that we cannot underestimate what she understands.

Blended in Joy and Sorrow

There is something peaceful about following a motorcade of family across town - as one -

in sorrow and remembrance of the one who brought us together on this day.

At the grave site we were all handed roses and followed the pall bearers to the burial site.

The pastor reminded us that there is a day to be born and a day to die.

The important thing is what we do with the dash between those dates.

This dad, father-in-law, step dad, Opa, great-Opa and uncle made his time count.

Roses were placed on the coffin ...

mostly words could not be heard,

but sometimes a quiet whisper came out ...

a longing, a greeting to another certain loved one. 

Feeling the bond in a blended family,

sisters, sister-in-laws and step sisters,

is a blessing and is there because we have known each other 

much longer than this short lived marriage.

After the graveside time, we went to pick up mom at the home

to take her to the church service.

The same church where, seven years ago,

she walked down the aisle on a runner scattered with rose petals.

Yet even today, she had a beautiful twinkle in her eyes,

for which we were so grateful.

Eulogies,

special music to honor a man who loved almost nothing more than music,

and specific words of comfort and hope,

that he had requested, were spoken. 

The Mennonite church that Abe and Mom are a part of,

prepared a simple meal for the family.

One usually knows what to expect at this time already.

It brings us all together around food and 

sharing memories ... even funny ones ... of one we all loved.

Abe's passing has left a deep impact on me - 

as one able to hear his last words at his bedside.

 With no energy to waste, eyes turned up,
like he was beholding a glorious gate -

he begged to tell that there is only one way.

Jesus ... our robe of righteousness.

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only son,

that whosoever believes in him will have everlasting life."

Till we meet again!

Happy Day

43 years ago we said "I do"

Happy day then ... and now.