"There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under heaven." Ecclesiastes 3:1

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

A Role Reversal

On Monday, around two AM in the morning we were sitting at the hospital, waiting with mom for her test results and wondering if we would be taking her home or leaving her there. She was in pain and discomfort from a nasty fall, and she was concerned . . . concerned about us staying up at all hours of the night with her. A nurse came around and simply said, “Something tells me that a few decades ago you were the one staying up at night with someone here. . . so maybe it’s just their turn.” Mom smiled. Of course she would not have thought of that.

It’s amazing how quickly things can change. One day she is going through her Christmas to do lists and the next day she cannot drive to do those things. She cannot write her cards, she cannot bake cookies . . . she has to rest in the fact that Christmas will be without finishing her list. It is obvious that it's the things she cannot do for others, that she is concerned about. Her first thoughts are not about the fact that she cannot even dress herself.

In the meantime, I am learning to care for her in a similar fashion that she cared for my needs as a very little girl. The one who bathed me and showed me how to bathe my babies, now has to sit as I wash her feet. It’s a humbling experience for her . . . but at the same time it gives me the chance to give back. I see I have big shoes to fill.

19 comments:

Kathy ~ Artful Accents said...

Thinking of you and your mother. She is blessed to have such a thoughtful caretaker.

Larissa Joy said...

I love my Oma so much, and I know how hard it must be for her to not be able to do anything.
Thank you for taking care of her, Aunt Anneliese!

Lovella ♥ said...

Anneliese. .I know that you are likely the best medicine for your mom. You honor her so often in your words . .and now you have an opportunity to honor her in your care. . .Blessings to you both.

Anonymous said...

We love you Oma and are SO very thankful for you! praying for you every day. Thank you Aunt Anneliese for everything you do and are doing for Oma! May we all have a very Merry Christmas. Thank be to the Lord for letting us share this holiday together..lists done or not. we are here with and for each other. -D & C Thiessen

Thoughts on Life and Millinery. said...

I hope nothing broke. Elder falls are such a huge medical concern right now. My dad took a fall two years ago and it took a long time for him to heal.

It is a blessing that you live nearby and can make yourself available to help with your mom's needs. My heart breaks for families that are so estranged that when an elder parent falls, no one will be there to help.

Yolanda said...

Isn't that the way with Mom's . I sure miss mine but I know just what you mean. I will keep her in my thoughts and prayers and your family also.
It is so very true as we grow older the roles get reversed.
You have a terrific mom.

Hollace said...

I know what you mean. I've been through this with my Mother. I hope your Mom is out of pain and that you are both able to enjoy the season without worrying about 'to do' lists. Being present in the moment is the best gift you can give.

It is a beautiful photo of you two.

Erin said...

Just stumbled across your blog...what a lovely story. Blessings to you and your family.

Judy said...

How quickly the roles can reverse. Blessings to you as you are there for your mom!

Anonymous said...

Praying all will be well.

Bev K said...

Oh Anneliese - how much you look like your mother! She sounds like such a wonderful mom and friend. I'll be praying that she makes a full recovery.

Karin said...

Praying that good health would be a special gift for your mom! So good that she has you there. It's not easy to be the caregiver - you're still her daughter and she's still your mom - an adult. May the Lord give you extra special grace!

ellen b. said...

God bless you and your dear mom...

vange/rick said...

It's true - everything can change in a moment. Wishing you & your Mom a deep sense of God's presence & peace!

Marg said...

Beautifully written and so thoughtful. You are giving the best gift to your Mother and it's a legacy that your family will notice and recognize.
That's the real meaning of Christmas.
The word verification is Singt.
Wir werden alle singen!!!

Owen and Bonnie said...

Aunt Lisa, I'm so sorry to hear that your Mom isn't doing well. Your Mom is blessed to have you take such good care of her. I always remember your Mom as being so kind and loving...and I always loved eating her "Lake Chelan cookies"!! Praying for you...

Love, Bonnie

Elsie said...

What a blessing for your mom to have a doting daughter to care for her. Hope she recovers quickly!

Karen @ Ocean Soul said...

You are honoring your mother quite fabulously.

Glenda said...

Hope your mom heals quickly. She's blessed to have you take such good care of her. God bless you both!