I'm not a candy lover but, as I was packaging up some little treats for the grands recently, I surprised myself when I popped one of these little jelly candy into my mouth. There was something about them . . . my taste buds, infused with sugared orange juices, connected to a childhood memory of my grandma (Omi) handing out her favorite jelly candies, shaped like orange segments. Do they still make those? These little pumpkins tasted just like them and I loved them for the memory.
When our kids were young, we took them on a trip to visit our childhood homes. It was a unique opportunity given to us through a business promotion to visit a big city in Brazil, and we asked if we could make our own arrangements. Instead of spending money on hotels and tours, we were able to go as a family and stay in the homes of our relatives. This gave us the opportunity to visit my home in Brazil as well as my H's hometown in Chaco, Paraguay. As we walked into the door of his cousin's home, a flood of unexpected emotions came over him. The scent in the home and the pattern of the floor tiles brought about memories he had long tucked away and forgotten about, bringing tears to his eyes.
What is it about taste, scent and visual designs that can evoke such long lost memories? Stories that beg to be told because they are part of the pattern of who we are as individuals, extending into who we are as a family. Whatever the story, be it funny, sad, a lesson in dealing with hard times or even learning about good coming out of bad - are stories that build into the foundation of how our children will deal with experiences today. I think of Joseph in the Bible, meeting up with his brothers and - continuing the story of what happened to him after they sold him into slavery - he goes on to tell them, "What you meant for evil, God meant for good."
Parents who create opportunities for such a time around a dinner table, while driving in the car or waiting at the dentist's office, have the opportunity to let their kids know they are not alone in learning to deal with life's ups and downs. Our views in retrospect can help them learn that things are not always as they seem and give them hope.
When we get together with extended family for our celebrations, we give our children a sense of belonging and shared identity. Sometimes there is a merging of cultures and that, in itself, can be a good learning time about who we are. With changing times, it may be that story telling has faded into the background, but I'd like to hope for more opportunities to let shared memories bring laughter, help heal misunderstandings and bring about a sense of being a part of a family that is special in its own way. Look about for things that make it so . . . grandparents with their broken English, the baby blanket passed down to the third generation, the recent wedding photos of a cousin wearing her mom's dress, the new baby named after great-grandma, the step-cousin who is ever so quiet, German carols, the stuffing that can't change, peppermint cookies . . . it may just be any one of these that will one day trigger an emotion - a little tear - taking you back and filling you with thankfulness.
Thoughts on the benefits of story telling were inspired by a wonderful article by Frances Lefkowitz in the December issue of Good Housekeeping.
What is it about taste, scent and visual designs that can evoke such long lost memories? Stories that beg to be told because they are part of the pattern of who we are as individuals, extending into who we are as a family. Whatever the story, be it funny, sad, a lesson in dealing with hard times or even learning about good coming out of bad - are stories that build into the foundation of how our children will deal with experiences today. I think of Joseph in the Bible, meeting up with his brothers and - continuing the story of what happened to him after they sold him into slavery - he goes on to tell them, "What you meant for evil, God meant for good."
Parents who create opportunities for such a time around a dinner table, while driving in the car or waiting at the dentist's office, have the opportunity to let their kids know they are not alone in learning to deal with life's ups and downs. Our views in retrospect can help them learn that things are not always as they seem and give them hope.
When we get together with extended family for our celebrations, we give our children a sense of belonging and shared identity. Sometimes there is a merging of cultures and that, in itself, can be a good learning time about who we are. With changing times, it may be that story telling has faded into the background, but I'd like to hope for more opportunities to let shared memories bring laughter, help heal misunderstandings and bring about a sense of being a part of a family that is special in its own way. Look about for things that make it so . . . grandparents with their broken English, the baby blanket passed down to the third generation, the recent wedding photos of a cousin wearing her mom's dress, the new baby named after great-grandma, the step-cousin who is ever so quiet, German carols, the stuffing that can't change, peppermint cookies . . . it may just be any one of these that will one day trigger an emotion - a little tear - taking you back and filling you with thankfulness.
Thoughts on the benefits of story telling were inspired by a wonderful article by Frances Lefkowitz in the December issue of Good Housekeeping.
7 comments:
Oh Anneliese you must be following me around. Yesterday a friend newly from Ukraine and I talked about memories and emotions connected to them which we didn't know we had: She at an evening of Ukrainian Christmas carols that she went to out of boredom and really no interest, at which she suddenly and inexplicably burst out sobbing, I doing my duty to visit my daughter at the Ukrainian museum where she role played a Ukrainian settler woman. Daughter came out of the setting toward me and I had such a wrenching of my heart as I saw my own grandmother standing there smiling at me. I sobbed and shuddered knowing not where it came from, how it never presented before.
These memory experiences were the context of my new friend's and my conversation.
You are amazing.xxx
Sharon
It's amazing what evokes those strong emotions and memories - a taste, a smell, a song or even the way a grandchild stretches - just like her grandmother :) I think story-telling is so important to a sense of identity. And grandmoms and granddads have a primary role in passing on those family stories to their grandchildren. I'm a librarian so it comes easy to tell stories. It's one of my favourite things to do! Thanks for a lovely post Anneliese.
I really enjoyed reading all your thought here, Anneliese. We always gave my mom a hard time when she tried to change up a traditional family favorite. We just had to have some things stay the same...
Beautiful thoughts around story telling Anneliese. It is inspiring!
A thoughtful post. Sometimes identifying the little things that make up family traditions are difficult, until they are skipped or changed. When I see bowls of uncracked nuts, or even bags of them in the store, I'm taken back to my grandparents and great grandparents' homes.
Such little things can bring the most precious memories to our senses. Inspiring thoughts here.
I remember those orange-slice candies...also a favorite at my Grandma's at Christmas. So true...that taste, scent and images can trigger long lost memories. Great post!
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