On September 24th, six years ago,
I picked my mom up from the hairdresser's and took her home to get ready for her groom.
A few hours later there came the bitter sweet moment
when my H and I stood at her apartment door, ringing her name,
the name she'd had for 55 years, for the last time.
We took her to the church and parked by a door away from the main entrance,
in case someone would want to see the bride before it was time.
It was a beautiful wedding -
two families coming together in a way we never would have imagined -
filled with hope for their best!
This past weekend I had a spur of the moment "moment"
when I realized we needed to celebrate. even just around a small table.
Monika and I put together a simple Faspa
and Mom and Abe were thrilled.
In such a short time they have become two peas in a pod ...
with a dependency on each other that is hard to fathom,
even though now it is Mom who has become more dependent.
He listens for her getting up at night
and during the day takes her along wherever he goes ...
letting her think it's because he wants her near.
He lays out her clothes, prepares food alongside her
and does the laundry that she is oblivious to.
He keeps her on track as to what day it is,
what time it is, and when to take her medication.
He keeps her from going to bed much too early
by playing recorded music shows ...
which she takes in with delight.
We do not know how long we have
but we know that time is slipping away,
that things are constantly changing.
Our conversations are limited
but they are possible.
Mom still puts her arms around me
smiles in my face
and says that when we get together
she feels this closeness - a longing fulfilled.
They leave, holding on to each other,
his cane steadying him so he can steady her.
He reminds her to put on her seat belt
and they are off one more time,
feeling celebrated ...
choosing not to think about tomorrow.
Yet in a strange reversal of roles,
the thinking is happening here.
May God's love and grace lead the way.
11 comments:
The little celebration was a lovely thing to do. Every event like this provides an opportunity to make memories - at a time when memory is slipping away.
You are so right to treasure the moments you have together. It sounds like you are about 2 years behind us, though there is no true eau of knowing. My mum has good days and bad days, but she is lovingly cared for. Dad moved last week, to an apartment that comes with cleaning and laundry and 3 meals a day and is across the street from where Mum is....another chapter in two lives that continue to inspire and teach all of us.
I Think of you and yours often.
Such a special celebration for a very special couple. They look so delighted in the photo!
You certainly know how to make people feel special. Your celebrations of moments in life are done with such beautiful artistic taste, often using very simple elements. I read recently that as memory fails, and confusion creeps in the close ties of family love continue to resonate with our loved ones emotions. They feel safe, comfort, peace just by us being around. I felt choked as I read your blog that Abe and your Mom had so few years of good health, but know they packed a lot of happy times into these years. We journey with you in love and prayer and I believe it is our privilege to live Jesus to our elderly parents. Love Gloria
Such a beautiful, beautiful post, Anneliese. I think you should get the picture of the family around the table & the picture of your Mom & Abe put in a nice picture frame for your Mom. I'm so glad they have each other............it is not good to be alone. My Grandmother passed away shortly before my Grandfather turned 100. Their love story lasted almost 74 years & Grandpa lived for another 3 years. They loved to just sit around the family table. It's wonderful that you thought to celebrate your Mom & Abe's special day. It is the little things (& the big things ) that count. Your words are lovely too.
Blessings to your family.
Sharon
A lovely post and celebration, Anneliese. You expressed things so well.
What a tender and poignant post Anneliese. You bless your mom each time you care for her and I know the honour you bestowed with this little celebration reached her heart and encouraged Abe's.
The way you all take care of your mom is so sweet!! You created a delightful celebration and I'm sure both Abe and your mom felt loved. She is blessed to have her children and a caring husband to support her.
Thanks for sharing these special moments in your journey with your mom. What a lovely way to honour her and Abe, despite the circumstances.
A beautiful post, Anneliese, full of love for your sweet mom and Abe. I think we need to celebrate in whatever ways we can, small and big, for life is gift and it's length is so uncertain.
You words are so beautiful, Anneliese. You are treasuring and honoring and celebrating your Mom and Abe in a beautiful way. I loved hearing how the cane supports Abe so he can support your mom.
Oh this is so lovely Anneliese! There is a huge lump in my throat and tears in my eyes as I read this. What a thoughtful and meaningful celebration.
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