Mom's been in a home for about 6 months now. She had no problems getting settled but I found it hard to see how quickly she went downhill. I think we expected it, but it still gave way to a whole new learning curve and many questions.
At this time I appreciate that she has grown into a good routine. The caregivers have come to see her sweet side. I keep wishing they could have known her how she was and pray that they will treat her with kindness when I know it must not always be easy. She has a hard time understanding simple commands, such as sit down or open your mouth etc. She needs as much care as a baby and that is a task I admire the care aides for.
The interesting thing is that not once has she asked to go "home." She has expressed joy in seeing us and a yearning or longing she's had, but mostly she accepts whatever comes. I marvel at how she does not complain and she never begs us to stay longer. It makes it easy to go for a quick visit more often.
So this is what I've done. Sometimes it's basically just a good-night hug. I appreciate that her room is tidy and clean and, if I come too late, she's been tucked in with hymns playing on her CD player. I love that they have come to know that this is the best medication for her. There are times she has surprised me by saying my name. We hold hands and sing along with the hymns. Sometimes I read through a list of her favorite Bible verses, most of which she will finish by memory, if I stop.
I can't express how good it feels to see her comfort in the words she memorized so long ago and it amazes me to see the lasting value of a faith she has clung to, not only in word, but in practice. Recently I was brave enough to ask her is she wanted to pray and without any hesitation, with eyes staring about, she went into a prayer, praising our "Almighty Heavenly Father" that He never leaves us alone ... and then her words faded ... but with that one sentence she put me to shame.
I miss who she was, but am so encouraged to still see glimpses of it and know that one day she will be whole and well again. The Lord Almighty is with her - He will never leave her.
7 comments:
Your heart must be eased by your mom's acceptance of her place in the care home. Thank you for sharing your experience with your mom's illness. It means a lot. May God grant you daily grace and strength.
Thank you, Lorrie!
As I travel down this road with my mom, your words give me such encouragement. I know beyond a doubt (but I still worry) that mom's faith will sustain her no matter what, but it's good to hear that it is indeed true for your mom. Thank you for sharing with us, you're providing such support and encouragement for so many others going through this journey.
Very touching. I agree with Lorrie and Vicki...you are encouraging others by sharing the journey with your mom. Thank-you.
Your Mom's prayer brought tears to my eyes. What a lesson in thanksgiving and praise. Although I lost my Mom over 20 yrs ago I still miss her and wish I had had more time with her.
Thanks so much for sharing. It is not an easy road to travel.
Irene Klassen
For those of you who are going through these extended days of saying good bye to how things were and those of you are missing your mom, I am grateful for your understanding and I pray for your comfort and encouragment as well.
So thankful that you feel at peace with her care in the home. I am always amazed at how words of hymns and bible verses come back so seemingly easily to persons with memory challenges.
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