From Another Shore

 

This past week week we've taken time to rest. My H did the best thing by taking me away to a distant shore with blue skies, sunshine and no commitments.

We've stayed at a quaint B&B just a block away from the main street, in the old fishing village of Lahaina; delicious breakfasts served on the front porch and our room around the back, a few steps from the pool.

The main street is lined with tiny shops on one side and numerous restaurants ocean side, where we have taken in the most amazing meals and sunsets.

To get to the beach we walked past the old banyan tree that takes up a city block in size.

You can see the original trunk and how it shoots out forming new trunks, so that by now it looks like a forest, with all trees connecting to the center. 

Going the other direction we got into some local neighborhoods as we walked the beach to the north.

We walked for miles

wading into the salty water where I let my tears flow.

We got lost in books and dozed off on lanais.

The thought that the end of a season has come upon us hit me when Monika and I stopped off at the care home last week. Our arms laden with roses, cards and chocolates, we stood at the door to say thank you. Together we had settled mom in in January 2018 and together we rang the doorbell for the last time now - not able to go inside anymore. 

January has never been my favorite month and this year it added a whole new element to cold winter days as we sat with mom during her final week, buried ourselves in plans for, what she would be able to call "a good funeral" and then the final clean up. 

 I was more overwhelmed with tiredness than grief

and, in a strange way, happy that it was this specific month that remained true to its melancholy self so as not to waste another.

I grieve not that my mom has left, but I do grieve the lost years she had to endure. 

Years that made no sense, other than how they have affected me and taught me a lot about her as well as myself. I learned that what she stored up in her heart was what took her through those lost years.

And because I'm a Christian, I also believe that when she saw Jesus, all of her loss was forgotten.

Life is a precious gift, and eternal life is more. 

I wish to thank all of you for sharing in this time with me, 

for your expressions of love, sympathy and prayers.

Your visits and words have been a comfort during this time.

♡♡♡