New Keys

Just a few years ago, really, not even a year ago, I would not have imagined that I'd be excited to go on a trip with my own little computer. Yet here I am, feeling the freedom to go to far away places and visit friends at home, all at the same time. I'm not sure I was any more excited about my first set of keys!

Last week a young man came to our house to set up a wireless router and so began my first lesson on, what he called, my new netbook. I remember years ago someone saying something about having a computer in the kitchen and putting all my recipes on there and me thinking, "Why would I do that, if I can read them in a book? Well, this is like a book in my kitchen where I can now type in the name of the recipe and it will appear. Times have changed.

I'm still trying to figure out how this whole Internet thing works. How can a computer work without being plugged in? Oh, and does it always have to be near a place it can pick up on this special signal, or can it run on a charged battery? Dumb question, I know, I'm figuring these things out and I know more questions will come, but for now I am happy to have connection. Sort of like knowing there is gas in the car and that's what matters.

Now, having said that, if you don't hear from me for the next ten days there could be several reasons. I may not have connection, but I may just be having too much fun all day long and just drop dead into bed at the end of the day. I'm prepared for the midnight wake up calls of the mosque, then the roosters crowing and then the door opening and little feet running on tiles to join us in bed. And so the days will begin.

Purely for Pleasure

Julene sent us a photo of the scene right after a recent phone call with the kids. We'd been holding out on a secret for just the right moment. And the moment came. Tehya told her mom that she was thinking about Canada and so we got a call. We shared our plans with her and we could hear in her voice, and Paeton's next, that it was good news. Very good news! Even Makenna felt something in the air.

Part of the conversation Julene overheard at this time was Paeton, who is five, asking Tehya, "How do you spell I can't wait"?

It struck me that they all had this immediate urge to write down their feelings. Something I can relate to . . . the desire to express a feeling that you want to get the most out of by recording it.

Our hearts were warmed to see the scene. Actually I had imagined it already, because I do know these kids, even though they are so far away. I am so thankful to know them better than I ever would have imagined six years ago . . . when they were preparing to go . . . and I don't want to take for granted that we get to go and see them again . . . if only for a very short visit.

Oh Let the Sun Shine In!

Now I know why the next line says, "face it with a grin." No, this is not just another blurry picture by Anneliese, but rather a rude reality check! These beautiful sunny days have me going about with a wet dusting rag, cleaning what I thought was a clean house. I wonder, where does this stuff come from?

I hate how the sunlight exposes a fine carpet on my French door glass, the blinds, the computer or TV screen, around the telephone . . . around any electronic devices, mind you. I hate how I get fooled into thinking all is well and then I see one spot and feel an obsessive compulsion kicking in, from feeling irksome to going crazy and then wonderful when I can see clearly through my window again.

I was thinking . . . this is not unlike God's light shining into my life and exposing things I did not know were there. Things that seem so small . . . but so annoying. I don't want this light shed on me, but, Lord, if You point out what is there, please wash me too. Just as I don't want to ignore the dust in my house, let me be ever more sensitive to the dust I allow to settle in my life.

A Song About Baseball

Saturdays on the baseball field –
And me afraid of the ball,
Just another kid on Camera Day
When the Angels still played in L.A.
I was smiling in living black and white.
Baseball cards and bubblegum –
“I think there’s a hole in my glove.”
Three-and two, life and death,
Swinging with eyes closed, holding my breath,
I was dying on my way to the bench.

But none of it mattered after the game
When my father would find me and call out my name.
A soft drink, a snow cone, a candy bar,
A limousine ride in the family car.
He loved me . . . no matter how I played.

None of it mattered after the game.
My father would find me and call out my name.
Dreaming of glory the next time out,
My father showed me what love was about.
He loved me . . . no matter how I played.

None of it mattered after the game . . .
When my Father would find me and call out my name.

By recording artist Bob Bennet

On Raising a Good Loser

I recently read a good article by Andrew Postman on how to make losing a teachable moment. Having raised a very competitive boy ourselves, I read this with keen interest - even though it is in hindsight.
With the Olympics upon us, I thought it would be good for me to write down some of these thoughts that pertain to good sportsmanship. Watching these men and women who have worked so hard to get here, it is easy to forget that they too have failed many times and, even now, as they have achieved the ability to perform and compete with the best, we all know that not everyone can win gold. It is a hard reality that even a great Olympic athlete may go home feeling like he/she has failed.
Andrew Postman states, “We accept that success is just about impossible if you don’t know how to use your flops.” He refers to Thomas Edison’s staggering number of false starts before creating the light bulb that worked. Edison is quoted to have said, “I have succeeded in proving that those 700 ways will not work.”
This is a great attitude to have, but how do we help our kids learn from their failures? Especially when their successes and failures are so wrapped up in our own self esteem - sometimes so much so, that it matters more to us than to them. Being able to look back now, I can see that we as parents can do more harm than help, when we continually try to protect our children by either blaming their failures on someone else, trying to fix things for them or by taking it to the top, maybe even changing schools.

So, in short, what can parents do to help their child through the process of becoming a good sport? From my own experience, I now see that I would never have joined a sports team because I was afraid of failure. I was of the impression that when you do something, you have to do it perfectly. Parents need to give their children chances to fail and show them that their love for them does not depend on achievement.
As parents we also need to be a good example by showing how we can learn from our failures. I like the suggestion from psychologist, C. Dweck, Ph.D., to take a family dinner time to ask, “Who did something really hard today?” or “Who made a mistake they can learn from today?” Mom and Dad have to participate as well. Celebrating the fact that someone took on a challenge, or learned something is more important than easily winning something with no effort.

Our ultimate goal as parents, in teaching them how to be a good loser, may have more to do with life skills than we realize. We will not always be able to be there for them when a relationship fails, when they don’t succeed at a project or when they lose their job, but if we can teach them to ask the right questions, to look for what they can learn from a loss and do their best with what God has given them, then their elementary school failures may be used for good.

Happy Valentines!

I believe that the couple that prays together, stays together, but recently I heard that the couple that sweats together stays together. I guess there may be some truth to that one too. It started me thinking of what kind of things we do to sweat together. . . things such as going for a brisk walk or serving together in a kitchen. Oh, but somehow my favorite one is going to Palm Springs together and laying in the sun. Does that one count? I’m sure it’s good for us.

Another take on this may be to ask what kind of little extra things do we do for each other? I like to iron his shirt before he asks me to. He likes to get my toothbrush ready.

Yes, every morning, because he brushes his teeth first, mine is sitting there waiting for me.