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My thoughts have been on the cost of being a third culture kid. This term was coined in the early 1950s by American sociologist, Ruth Hill Useem, in reference to children who accompany their parents into another society. For myself, it meant moving about a number of times, born into a German speaking family in Uruguay, moving to Brazil for elementary schooling and then to Canada to learn my fourth language. Maybe it's knowing the feeling of trying to fit into a new culture and how that can affect you for the rest of your life, that has had me contemplating this.
I did not even have to think long on it when, one evening last week, Tehya came back to our place from her choir practice crying. When I asked her what had happened, she told me that no one had talked to her and that she had felt left out when groups got together to plan for weekend choir camp. Taking into consideration that she is not completely new here and that this can happen to anyone I wondered if this was something to talk about in more detail. Hesitating somewhat, I asked her if she sometimes felt this way because she did not have the history with the other kids here. She immediately nodded, and said yes. She knew what I was talking about. I told her I know what she feels.
It so happened that earlier in the day she had seen my tears and had asked the reason. I had not given her an answer, but now I thought I would. I explained to her that my biggest sadness about them going away is that one day she will find out that she has no place to really call home. Do you know what she told me?
"Well, that is a sacrifice I can make."
She is a strong girl, our Tehya. So much so, that she will not ever want to make anyone else feel left out of the hope they can have.
17 comments:
She is one among millions. I think she speaks from her generation. Although she's been with her friends only two years, they are all, from somewhere else.
Her peers will move several times, can count many languages and cultures going back even one generation. And some Canadians haven't even gone outside our national borders to leave their culture: Newfoundlanders in Alberta, Prairie sons and daughters on Nova Scotia shores. Then, there are the First Nations. They are in their own country, but tell us it and their culture has been taken from them.
This granddaughter of yours is a child of her generation Anneliese. What a woman she will be. With world citizens like her our future looks good.
Sharon
God bless her dearly...
What a wise little girl she is!! Her parents have taught her well!
I thought of you and prayed for you this morning as I read this in my devotion time --
"There is sublime peace in accepting the sufficiency of God's grace by allowing him to be strong in us where we are weak." -- Marie Chapian
Blessings on you and that wise young granddaughter as you face the days ahead.
God bless her. Our true home is in Him, no matter where we are geographically. She has an old soul to have grasped this at such a tender age.
Wow, what a wise little girl...
Sharon, you shared something that many of us have missed - ours is a very mobile society and not only do children have to deal with frequent moves but they also have to face family relationships upheaval at numerous levels. Teyha is showing her maturity and wisdom in accepting that life is not picture perfect. You can be so proud of her and of your kids for raising such a wise child.
Teyha speaks with the wisdom and grace of someone of an older generation. Praying that all the children will grow in their faith in the years to come.
Well, that brought tears to my eyes. She certainly has a kind hear.It sounds as though she is being taught well and knows what matters most. God bless her!
Oh sweet Teyha...I have never been outside the US except to visit Niagara Falls on the Canadian side, but have moved many many times in my life...I also know how Teyha feels and have spent my life trying to make people feel included in things because of how I wasn't when I was a child...Teyha, having Christian parents and grandparents, will always have a heart for others...
God Bless your family
Love from NC
What a sweet, wise girl. And I think you were wise to have an honest discussion with her. She'll remember that. Praying for your whole family as you all adjust to upcoming transitions.
What a sweet and strong reply!
This is such a touching post. I read this on a recent blog, and it came to my mind while reading your post today. Maybe something in it will be of help to you. http://naomihattaway.com/2013/09/i-am-a-triangle-and-other-thoughts-on-repatriation/ ~ Elaine
God bless your sweet and perceptive granddaughter! She seems well grounded and will benefit from her international experiences. You have and will play a huge part in this adventure. Keeping you all in my prayers.
Such grown-up words from your granddaughter! How precious. She'll be fine.
What a sweet girl Anneliese. May she continue to grow in God's grace...
I think there are are trade-offs to any lifestyle we choose, both for us and our children. Your posts bring to mind Jesus' promise for those who leave houses or lands for His sake. I believe the promise must also extend to those who are left.
Debora
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